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In Camino Real, Tennessee Williams said “Life is an unanswered question, but lets still believe in the dignity and importance of the question.” Dignity is found in the pursuit of the important questions, not in the possession of all the answers. As a corollary, it’s possible (in fact essential) to have faith without relying on certainty as a crutch.

Jim Wallis was recently asked by the Washington Post whether he believed Jesus was the Son of God, and if so, what that means. Here is part of his response:

I believe the things that Jesus says about himself in the New Testament, and affirm what the later Scriptures and church creeds say about Jesus being the Son of God. But, that doesn't mean many of the things that Christians have too often concluded, or how we have acted on the basis of our belief.

Jesus being the Son of God does NOT mean that Christians are better, more right, more righteous, more moral, more blessed, more destined to win battles, or more suited to govern and decide political matters than non-Christians. Instead, believing that Jesus was the Son of God would better mean that people who claim to believe it ought to then live the way Jesus did and taught. And on that one, many of us Christians (who believe the right way) are in serious trouble when it comes to the way we live. Those who believe that Jesus was the Son of God should be the most loving, compassionate, forgiving, welcoming, peaceful, and hungry for justice people around—just like Jesus, right? Well, it's not always exactly so.

What a timely reminder as we enter a new year. Can we have the courage to affirm our faith without damning the beliefs (and souls) of others? Can we have a little less shrill rhetoric in 2007? I’m so tired of Christian arrogance, whether it be from the right or the left.

Jim notes that the famous evangelist Billy Graham exhibited great humility when asked about the fate of non-Christians.

One young believer stood up and asked Dr. Graham, "Since Jesus said 'I am the way, the truth and the life, and no man cometh to the Father but by me,' doesn't that mean people from other religions—Jews and the rest—are going to hell?" Billy replied, "I'm sure glad that God is the judge of people's hearts and not me! And I trust God to decide those questions justly and mercifully." The student was disappointed and pressed further, "Well, what do you think God will decide?" Graham demurred, "Well, God doesn't really ask my advice on those matters."

Maybe we could all apply that maxim. And remember to walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8).

As my friend Matt points out, if the sin of Sodom was pride (Isaiah 3:9, Ezekiel 16:49-50), then many Christians are indeed Sodomites and should be truly ashamed.

A lot of ink has been spilled over the story of Ted Haggard’s resignation amid revelations of sexual impropriety.

There is much chatter about abuse of power, the vulnerability of religious leaders in general, whether mega-church ministries set themselves up to fall in such spectacular ways, what are the warning signs, and so on. The center of gravity for these speculations is The Haggard Story, a supposedly sordid drama of lust and betrayal played out in four acts: Act I ‘The Pedestal’, Act II ‘The Scandal’, Act III ‘The Fall’ and in closing, Act IV ‘The Recovery’.

Liberal magazine The Christian Century covers the story in its November 28 issue with an editorial and accompanying news piece that more or less follow this boilerplate. The ‘scandal’ is framed as a fall from grace, a turn toward ‘sexual or chemical addictions’ accompanied by power-fueled hypocrisy.

But why is it that Haggard’s sexual liaisons with a male prostitute are framed in this manner? Forget for a moment that this is how Haggard himself and his charismatic cohorts have characterized it. Why should we view his situation as a personal ‘fall’ rather than as emblematic of a greater struggle going on within the church today – the struggle for equality, acceptance and ministry for all GLBT Christians?

Forget for a moment the sordid hype. Isn’t the real scandal here the way in which Haggard, even now, is still unable to come to terms with his sexual identity and accept himself as a beloved child of God, just as he is? That such a respected and surely learned man of God, who must have ministered grace to thousands of others, can not find within himself that same free gift of grace?

It’s a scandal that un-biblical sex-negative dogma has such a sway over much of the church that even liberal journals like The Christian Century can’t call a spade a spade. The lies that forced Ted Haggard to live a double life and pushed him toward dangerous and self destructive activity are the same lies that threaten the sanity, safety and wellbeing of millions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people every single day.

The real scandal is that people are still forced to live this way in the twenty first century. The same lies are pushing Ted Haggard and thousands of others into so-called reparative therapy, which itself is a Great Lie and serves only to deepen the scandal and worsen the pain.

What we need is a non-scandalous response to a scandalous situation. Gay spiritual leaders have, as far as I can tell, reached out to Ted with grace and sincerity.

The Colorado Springs Gazette quoted Rev. Nori Rost, MCC clergy and founder of spiritual justice advocacy group Just Spirit, as saying “I feel a lot of sympathy for Ted. Having been a pastor, you live in a fishbowl anyway. It must be very painful for Ted and his family.”

In a November 6 press release, Soulforce urged “compassion for Haggard and accountability for the National Association of Evangelicals.” Executive Director Jeff Lutes said

Rev. Haggard is just one more tragic example of how lives are destroyed by the lies about gay and lesbian people perpetuated by the NAE, the Religious Right, and both the Protestant and Roman Catholic Church. Taught by the church to hate himself, the only option from his point of view was to lead a psychologically and spiritually damaging double life marked by denial and self-destructive behavior. Rev. Haggard is a victim of religion-based bigotry that regularly demeans and demoralizes gay and lesbian people and refuses to acknowledge that we are part of the American fabric, and that many of us form loving families and practice a deep faith in God.

Our community's anger at Rev. Haggard's hypocrisy is completely understandable. However, my hope is that our community will take the high road and extend an olive branch of friendship and support when he is ready to fully come out as a gay man. Dobson and the others will counsel him to bury, deny, and repress his sexuality even deeper than before. They will wound his spirit, and he is going to need our prayers and our compassionate message that God loves him, affirms him, and calls him to live his life openly with honesty and integrity.

Soulforce subsequently launched a campaign for LGBT and allied people to write letters of concern and compassion to Haggard. Apparently over three hundred people from different walks of life have written to him, many addressing themselves as people of faith coming from a conservative Christian background having once struggled with denial and being in bondage to anti-gay misinformation.

Some on the right might no doubt characterize such words and acts as part of some ‘homosexual agenda’ to exploit Ted Haggard’s sad circumstances for political ends. To accept such a viewpoint would be to fail to see the heartfelt concern of ordinary people who genuinely care about what the man and his family are going through. Unlike the fear-and-power mongers on the religious right, many of us know all too well what it is like to be on the receiving end of judgment and condemnation.

I'm not entirely convinced, after all, that I'm 'suffering' from depression — as opposed to going through a rough patch emotionally and spiritually, that might be resolved through means other than pharmacological.

Let me state at the outset that the drugs were the worst experience of my life. First Wellbutrin, and then after a week of mental and physical torture from the side effects, the doctor switched me to Effexor — not as bad, but still a rough ride that I wasn't prepared to endure longer than three days. I've done a lot of drugs (both legal and illegal) in my lifetime, including some very bad acid trips. But nothing prepared me for the horrors of SSRI antidepressants.

What the doctors don't tell you when you start treatment on an SSRI, is that the side effects can be so wrenching that the experience can literally leave you feeling more depressed and helpless than when you started out. And even if you stop using the drugs, the side effects can continue for some time afterward. 10 days after stopping Effexor, I still have a constant ringing in the ears about which I'm starting to wonder whether it will ever go away... But at least it's better than the mania, nausea, vomiting, belching, anxiety, headaches and other 'side effects' I experienced while on Wellbutrin. Which was ironic, since the reason I visited my doctor in the first place was due to irritable bowel syndrome, the symptoms of which included nausea, vomiting, belching, anxiety, etc.

I did some research online and found some personal testimonies of lifelong addiction to antidepressants, and some terrible stories about drug treatments that read like experiments on lab rats. As I found myself, a physician will recommend one drug and if that doesn't work (or if the side effects are intolerable) keep trying different drugs, doses or combinations until 'something works'.

It seems that scientists don't really know how these toxic chemicals work to correct the assumed chemical imbalances. And with all the talk of chemical imbalance, you'd think it would be important to actually detect one before offering a diagnosis. But all that is required for a diagnosis is that you answer a short one-page psychological questionnaire in a certain way. Gosh, the patient is exhibiting depressed thoughts, so roll out the prescription pad!

This type of diagnosis seems more quackery than real science. Clearly the drug companies benefit in promoting the idea that 50 million Americans suffer from depression, and the corollary that drug treatment is the answer. 

Personally, I think a lot of people, including me, experience depression because we haven't been able to adjust our expectations too well to reality. A lot of men my age and older go through through 'mid-life crises'. Are these caused by chemical imbalances? Or is it just that modern life can often feel crushing, hurtful and seemingly pointless?

I'm not questioning the existence of real clinical depression in some people. But is it just possible that a good portion of those 50 million depressed Americans are suffering not from a chemical imbalance but from the challenge of living in a difficult and often spirtually bankrupt age?

Sometimes I feel hopelessly depressed because my life doesn't seem to be going where I had hoped, because I feel that I haven't grasped my vocation, that I've missed opportunities and squandered blessings. The despair comes from feeling not loved, or not loving enough, or not understood, or grieving over past hurts and failures. It feels more existential than physical.

Maybe the right pill would cure the symptoms, but would it address the spiritual malaise underneath or just push it further down where it can't disturb me? I want to deal with my demons, to face them and move through them, to learn from them and grow as a result. Maybe a pill will make my life easier, but in flattening out the ridges and valleys might it prevent me from learning and growing from life's challenges?

I'll pass on the chemical lobotomy for now I think. 

"We live at the center of the network of cosmic influences as we live at the heart of the human crowd or among the myriad of stars, without alas, being aware of their immensity. If we wish to live our humanity and our Christianity to the full, we must overcome that insensitivity which tends to conceal things from us in proportion as they are too close to us or too vast."

—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

"I am the vine; you are the branches." - John 15:5

A reminder today on how all things are ultimately connected. I just finished reading Donald Spoto's The Hidden Jesus: A New Life (review forthcoming) in which he talks frequently of the interconnectedness of all things in Christ. I also happened to be humming the tune to a cheesy piece of contemporary Christian music I heard the other day for the first time in decades, "A friend's a friend for ever" (if the Lord's the Lord if them).

And then I get a comment on this blog from an old friend from high school. Our lives took remarkably different trajectories for 25 years, and then happened to collide once again through this blog. Attitudes and tempers have matured. Two people who perhaps once had little to talk about are now able to converse, again.

I suspect that the lives of all we have ever known, as well as those unknown to us, are closer to ours than we think. WHile we all walk different paths, which sometimes can seem to be lonely, we're all connected to one another through the same source. we shouldn't be surprised when these connections pop up in the moist unexpected ways.

Perhaps if Jesus were incarnated today, he might also have said, "I am the network; you are the nodes." We are never separate from one another or from God, except in our perceptions. Admittedly, in today's world perception can seem to be everything. But really it's not.

Can we have the faith to believe that all things have a tendency to work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to God's purpose?

I was reading the story of Iowa mother Noreen Gosch, whose 12-year old son Johnny was abducted in 1982. As the 24th anniversary of his disappearance neared, somebody left two photographs at her front door of Johnny bound and gagged, apparently taken within hours of his abduction.

I have no idea how credible the stories are concerning how and why Johhny disappeared (you can read them here). But what struck me was the absolute perserverance of this woman in the face of tremendous loss for the past two and a half decades. She helped change the law in Iowa, and was instrumental in setting up the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. She has never given up hope not only for her own son but for those many other children that go missing each year.

I thought of Noreen as I was reading some of the parables of Jesus last night. The story of the widow who searched for the lost coin. That of the father whose son wandered off and squandered his inheritance and lost everything he had. That of the shepherd who sought the lost sheep. The man who wanted to purchase the pearl of great price.

The widow kept searching until she found that precious coin. The father never gave up hope that his lost son would return, and celebrated joyously and extravagantly when he did. The shepherd risked his flock and livelihood, all that he had, to go after the one sheep that was lost. The man sold all that he had in order to obtain the precious pearl.

Not simply memorable stories, these parables give us insight into the extravagant heart of God. Jesus tells us stories about widows and fathers and shepherds and others who never give up seeking that which is lost, to show us the way God is toward us. Over and over again in the gospels Jesus describes a God who is not harsh and judgmental, not one who accounts for our every fault and failure, but one who is overflowing with love and compassion for every one of us and who never, ever gives up on us for a moment.

God is like all these, and God is like Noreen Gosch. Only infinitely more so. As Paul says to the Romans, nothing in all the universe will ever separate us from the love of God. Not adversity, not war, not suffering, not intolerant bigots. This is the message of Jesus, the true gospel that shines in the darkness and sorrow of this world.

I haven't had much energy to put things into writing lately. I have been dealing with what can only be described as a signicant crisis in the local church to which I belong (and am an elected representative to its board of directors). These events, which revolve around core values such as integrity, truthfulness, inclusiveness and compassion, have been very stressful. I have questioned myself and others repeatedly. Perhaps I'll find the strength to provide a more straightforward explanation at a later time.

At the same time I have also been reading a wonderful new book, Brian McLaren's The Secret Message of Jesus: Uncovering the Truth That Could Change Everything. I'm about halfway through so I don't want to write too much about it until I'm finished. But I have to say that this is one of the most readable and accessible books on the teachings of Jesus I have ever picked up, while at the same time extremely thought provoking and inspirational. This ain't The Da Vinci Code. But if Brian McLaren were taken seriously he might help change the world.

Coming Up to Breathe

by MercyMe

I’m not one to pass the blame
But this is one I cannot claim even if I wanted to
There’s something happening
There’s something going on with me
And I think I like the view from where I’m standing

You are to blame for anything that is good in my heart
You are to blame for this change that has taken me by storm ...

From "You're To Blame"

—from explorefaith.org

On Monday evening I attended the Soulforce Equality Ride rally in Elliot Park, across the road from North Central University.

It's interesting to compare and contrast North Central's position statement on the Ride with the Riders' own perspective.

The NCU Administration avoids dealing with Soulforce's charges of religion based discrimination, claiming in at least one place that to do so would violate student privacy rights under FERPA. Having listened to David Coleman's story and that of other LGBT NCU alumni, the university's definition of 'privacy' seems to be somewhat flexible, as also their definition of 'truthful.'

NCU asserts that it does not "summarily expel students who reveal that they have same sex attraction."

It is true that NCU does not expel students for revealing same-sex attraction. It places them on probation or suspension for not leading a compatible "lifestyle", and allows them to return only after effectively becoming "exgay." Which is effectively the same as expulsion, since most LGBT are unable to "change" who we are. The belief that LGBT youth can "overcome" their sexual orientation through self-discipline, prayer and reparative therapy is a religious myth right up there with creation science. Which is to say it is a fantastic and cruel assertion unsupported by either the biblical or scientific evidence.

Also, the University does not tolerate "gay-bashing" or abusive acts on our campus. These are contrary to the life and teachings of Jesus Christ who we as Christians are called to follow.

This would appear also to be an outright falsehood, unless one refuses to consider coercion into discredited and harmful reparative therapies a form of abuse. I know from my own experience that gay bashing takes many forms; not all of them leave physical scars.

NCU prefers to distance itself from these, the least of Jesus' brothers and sisters, by characterizing them as political opportunists who have rejected attempts at "mediation", whatever that means. Their message characterized as "political", not because of what they say (which is very religious) but because they draw a link between the school's religion based discrimination and the oppression of young gays and lesbians both inside and outside the church.

NCU's inability to see that it's faith-based policies toward LGBT youth produce consequences which are fare from the fruits of Christian love—and that their refusal to see these kids as brothers and sisters in Christ rather than as part of some "homosexual agenda" to undermine Christian society—are what is truly contrary to the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.

"God made so many different kinds of people; why would God allow only one way to worship?"

"When I meet a man, I am not concerned about his opinions. I am concerned about the man." 

"I felt I have not the right to want to change another if I am not open to be changed by him as far as it is legitimate." 

—Martin Buber

I want to share the following sermon by Rev. Nancy Wilson, Moderator of Metropolitan Community Churches. It contains reflections on MCC's participation in the recent Ninth Assembly of the World Council of Churches, and was delivered on March 6, 2006.

I believe this story is a wonderful example of how the Spirit of God is moving in ways that the mainstram media never reports and many in the religious right could not even begin to contemplate.

FYI, the 'open communion' Nancy rerfers to is the eucharistic sacrament of holy communion as celebrated in MCC and in many other inclusive church communities. We believe that the communion table is open to all through Christ's invitation and that none are to be excluded. This open and gracious invitation to God's table in our shared worship is still considered too radical by many Christian communities.

God, in your grace, transform our world

"When he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. And many were gathered together, so that there was so longer room for them, not even about the door; and he was preaching the word to them. And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and when they had made an opening, they let down the pallet on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "My son, your sins are forgiven."

"Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, "Why does this man speak thus? It is blasphemy! Who can forgive sins but God alone?" And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, "Why do you question thus in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say ‘Rise, take up your pallet and walk.’ But that you know that the Son of Humanity as authority on earth to forgive sins" — he said to the paralytic — "I say to you, rise, take up your pallet ad go home." And he rose, and immediately took up the pallet and went out before them all; so that they were all amazed and glorified God saying, "We never saw anything like this!"

I was inspired today by the following passage, from Psalm 119:25-40 as paraphrased in The Message.

I've been somewhat ill the past week, and this time has also been an opportunity for me to consider more closely the call that God has placed on my lif. The psalmist brought both issues into focus for me: 

I'm feeling terrible--I couldn't feel worse!
    Get me on my feet again.
    You promised, remember?
    When I told my story, you responded;
    train me well in your deep wisdom.
    Help me understand these things inside and out
    so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.
    My sad life's dilapidated, a falling-down barn;
    build me up again by your Word.
    Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;
    grace me with your clear revelation.
    I choose the true road to Somewhere,
    I post your road signs at every curve and corner.
    I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me;
    GOD, don't let me down!
    I'll run the course you lay out for me
    if you'll just show me how.

GOD, teach me lessons for living
    so I can stay the course.
    Give me insight so I can do what you tell me--
    my whole life one long, obedient response.
    Guide me down the road of your commandments;
    I love traveling this freeway!
    Give me a bent for your words of wisdom,
    and not for piling up loot.
    Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets,
    invigorate me on the pilgrim way.
    Affirm your promises to me--
    promises made to all who fear you.
    Deflect the harsh words of my critics--
    but what you say is always so good.
    See how hungry I am for your counsel;
    preserve my life through your righteous ways!

I hate New Year's resolutions. If one really intends to make a change in some area of one's life, why wait until January 1? Is there something special about the change in the calendar that inspires people into new directions or provides additional spiritual energy to accomplish their goals? I think not. At least 'giving something up' for Lent can help focus the mind on some spiritual task or perhaps broken or forgotten after a few days or weeks?

Nonetheless, the concept of making a new beginning or turning a new leaf is one of the core precepts of the Christian faith. The difference is that the life of faith calls us to make new beginnings constantly, to be constantly transformed by the renewing of our minds.

Christian fundamentalism demands that we be 'born again' once and once only. The new birth is occasioned by conforming to certain 'spirtual laws', i.e. believing that Jesus is the Son of God, confessing him as Lord, and so forth. The new birth is about believing the right things about God in order to obtain eternal salvation.

Assent to a creed may be useful in establishing the bounds of a shared spiritual life and vision, but is entirely bankrupt as a means to new birth and transformation. The fundamentalists have it entirely wrong on this point. Scriptural proof-texts notwithstanding, one cannot 'confess the Lord Jesus with your mouth' and suddenly be saved for all enternity. The spiritual life is a life lived in God from one day to the next. Spiritual transformation occurs within us (and within the world) as we draw near to God in our daily lives and thoughts, learning to 'put away childish things' (i.e. pointless arguments about who is closer to God or how many angels can dance on the head of a pin) and begin to bring forth the fruits of our faith.

Rather than subscribing to Rules of Belief then, the God-centered person is interested in cultivating a Rule of Life -- a discipline for faithful, healthy living. Such a Rule might include the following principles (and more):

• worship often
• pray constantly
• learn continuously
• serve joyfully
• live and give generously

Now there's a New Year's resolution worthy of considering!

Hat tip to ExploreFaith.org for a devotional by Lowell Grisham that provided inspiration for this thought.