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Family values

Family valuesAnother heart-wrenching story illustrating how state enforcement of so-called 'family values' only serves to destroy families and cause harm to children.

A woman has sued her former partner of 11 years to be recognized as a parent of the two children they raised together until 2002. The court dismissed the case, ruling that although Donna Ellis "lived as a family" with her partner Rachel Burg and their two children, she is not legally entitled to compensation for the time, money and commitment she made to the family, nor is she entitled to visitation rights with the children. Ellis intends to appeal to a higher court.

According to Florida law, Donna Ellis and Rachel Burg's family was an illusion. When the relationship dissolved, so did the past. In a long-shot attempt to prove the illusion was real, Ellis sued Burg to show that she was as much a parent to the girls as Burg - their biological mother.

Burg, the biological mother, dismissed their relationship as one of 'room-mates', even though they were partners for 11 years, jointly owned a home and raised two children together. "We were a family in every respect", said Ellis -- except in one important respect, that of the law.

"`Family' is a subjective term," [Burg's attorney] Roberts said. "She (Burg) would characterize it as a woman with two children having a relationship with another woman."

Burg's decision not to allow contact between Ellis and the girls is the right of a parent - the only legal parent the children have, Roberts said.

'Family' might indeed be a subjective term, but what kind of subjective interpretation says that a decade-long bond between a parent and a child doesn't exist because the relationship of the parent to the biological mother is not recognized by the state?

Where is justice in denying a parent the right to see her children? Or more importantly, taking away a child's right to know both of his or her parents? If Ellis had had different chromosomes the rights of both parents and the children would have been preserved by the law without discussion.

Gay marriage is not about special rights. It's about providing the same rights and protections to families and children that are automatically bestowed when the parents are of different sexes. There is no justice in the marital arrangements of a Britney Spears or an Anna Nicole Smith when the rights of thousands of loving parents and their children are being trampled on every day in this nation's courts.

And shame on you, Rachel Burg, for perjuring yourself and injuring the hearts of your children. As a lesbian mother you, of all people, should know better.

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Comments

This type of thing really frustrates me: On MANY levels. Why would a woman downplay her relationship of 11 years just so her “ex” can’t see the children that she helped to raise for that same amount of time? Why would someone be filled with that much hatred towards an ex? I have had bad relationships (none of them have involved children), but I would hope that no matter what happened between myself and my partner that those things would not come between the love that was shared between him and the children. This woman (Ellis) was there for all of it. The good times around the Christmas tree opening presents, the everyday things like doing laundry and making dinner, to fixing a skinned knee after one of the girls hurt herself playing in the yard, to possibly surgeries or serious medical issues. ALL OF IT! Why have to explain to these two girls that just because you are bitter and scorned, their mommy isn’t going to be around anymore? Why have to explain that; because of something that SHE (the biological mother) can’t deal with? I wish that, one day, the world would open it’s eyes and realize that just because you both have the same genitals, doesn’t mean that you can’t be good parents. There are so many glbt couples that would LOVE the chance to raise a child. Look at how many children are now raised in single parent homes, hardly ever getting the support and nurturing that is so desperately needed in a child’s life. As children grow up in this country, the more they are left to their own devises, the harder it is for them. A TV is not a healthy tool at building social skills and developing a strong sense of ones self. As for the people that have children on a daily basis in this country from an act of bad judgment? I just HOPE and PRAY that they are raised by loving, caring, and mentally healthy, lesbian or gay couples that actually WANT to have children…enough with the crazies in the world. It’s time for the REAL parents to PLEASE STAND UP!

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